Grasping happiness has been the eternal quest for a great measure of humanity. Governments have risen and fallen out of a demand for a reprieve from suffering and a return to social justice and fairness, the “pursuit of happiness.” In truth it is neither governments nor religions which can ensure the happiness of an individual but rather the prudent exercise of his reason and will. At the root of unhappiness is the common behavior of attempting to control, expect of or rely upon things which are not surely in our control. Things surely in our control are our own actions, decisions, judgments, aversions, inclinations and beliefs. Nothing else, including our bodies, our fortunes, the opinions of others, the perceptions people hold of us, esteem, prestige, wealth or family are in our control. We must therefore be capable of enduring their destruction as well as events which afflict us in an undesirable way. The wise man desires little outside of expectations of his own virtue and learns to temper his thoughts with this realization of the state of affairs. Failure to adopt this maxim results in an ignorant perception of reality and relationship and opens the door for grief and despondency in the face of the misfortunes of the world.
One can surely go mad in matters of love, for instance, in which he is rejected and finds no fault in his actions. If he believes that the perceptions and judgments of others are the direct result of his own behavior, he would be able to temper his pain with wisdom and fortitude, but if he forsakes himself for being a failure in matters which he had no ability to control, he will be reduced to turmoil and rage. It is the same, in lesser or greater degrees, with all other things which cause us discomfort and pain: we fail to acknowledge that a certain aspect of reality is utterly and completely out of our grasp, and that we are powerless in manipulating it. This is the behavior of most people, who curse the sky when it rains, are shocked when gas prices rise or fall, or become enraged when their material things (outside of their control) are damaged or stolen by others, as if they transcend death.
This misbehavior is a product of an ignorant perception of reality, and in becoming wiser, the individual finds himself less and less torn by circumstances indifferent to him, and is capable of enduring misfortune with character and grace. If he chooses to cultivate virtues, he can take comfort in knowing that no matter what happens to him, he has acted within the limits of his ability, according to his bond, no less, no more, acting with justice and excellence. There is indeed a sense of contentment in focusing on what is within one’s control and attempting to cultivate goodness and magnanimity, remaining strict with the behaviors of self and tolerant of others. It is this system of perception which has founded the basis of modern Cognitive Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy[i].
Another element in unhappiness is the desire-based cultures of Western countries. The classical wisdom of the Buddhist and the Stoic philosophers that to desire less is to be happy more has fallen on ill repute in our modern days of vast consumption and ill-tempered buying extravaganzas. As we live in a culture where our socialization process does not commonly seek to define the good of life, it is branded into us through constant media exposure, indoctrination in a cult of material, that the pursuit of property is the ultimate good. While we pursue property we are never content to fill a function but instead extrapolate grade into purchasing and base our identify upon the quality of what we own, forever seeking a “better” item, inspiring a self-destructive chain of needless consumption in quest for the end-of-the-line and non-existent best.
This endless pursuit, in which people work just to fill invented desires, and rest simply to work more, has exhausted our people into lifeless and constantly fatigued shades who find reprieve from their misery in pills and escapism. Rather than seek these self-destructive pleasures we should instead resign to indulge in more modest ones: good company, simple food, learning and self-cultivation, while searing through our other desires with a flame of reason to discover their absurd foundation. With a little bit of self-esteem and clear perception the illusory desires which once filled our lives evaporate as nothing but corporate slogans poured as poison into our ears. It is possible to feel content once again, arriving at happiness by simply breathing one more second than the dead, assaulted by no sense of turmoil when we hear seductions of the newest model iPod being released, instead satisfied to gather some faithful friends to make music through self-determined labors.
[i] Jules Evans, “Founder of Cognitive Therapy reveals Stoic inspiration,” Registry Report 12 (November 2008): 2-3.