Proof i’m turning into a super villain

I walked outside of my room with the dog walking in front of me during the night, right before Orcus goes to bed. I spot Orcus readying her lunch for tomorrow in the kitchen, I slip into the bathroom. I hear “no, no, no, no!” implying that she doesn’t want me in the bathroom. I pull the bathroom door behind me and grin, holding it so it does not closed yet. I close it a few seconds later and lock it. And then the most awesome thing happened. I spontaneously delivered a super villain laugh and an insidious grin, but without consciously doing it or trying to be funny to myself. When Orcus came to nag me “how long are you going to be in there?” as she always absurdly does, I answered “Your nagging will not rush my tempo to any extent whatsoever” in a moderately evil voice. I am… the Bathroom Lurker!

One reply on “Proof i’m turning into a super villain”

fucking awesome. lamest premise for a villain ever. superpowers: being slow in the bathroom. weaknesses: any that apply to normal humans

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